in black& white.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Please read.

I don't know how many times I have to do this.
But, I'll just do it lest I need it again for future use. *cross finger*

Firstly, I don't know why nobody knows HOW to READ the small words on the LEFT HAND SIDE.
I have stated clearly, and can't make it any clearer that this is just a bimbo blog, nothing much bout my personal life.
Sure, I do add in bits of my personal life but trust me, it's only about 5%.
The rest are exaggerated, some over-exaggerated.. Which only randy and those extremely close to me would know and those are the most minute things, EVER. Used just for the sole purpose of spicing this whole blog up (or not, why do you think my visitor hits would increase by so much)

I just totally blog here for fun. Act bitchy when I feel like it, blowing things out of proportion, and just share really pretty things (which unfortunately, you can't find anything that is NOT branded ONLINE.)

Just like how people game for fun, I blog.
I like to entertain and just crack silly jokes with some dark humour.
I like it when people tell me they enjoy my blog because it keeps them entertained.
And that's about how things are like.

You could even say it's somewhat like my part-time job, cept I'm unpaid. hahaha but thing is, I find joy in it and that's about all that matters, is it not?

My guy friends, like mehmeh always ask me, "(blogging) not bo liao meh?"
It IS bo liao, but it's just mindless entertainment so I don't know why people are taking something Bo liao so damn seriously.

In the first place, is this the ONLY bimbo blog you read? No, seriously.

Second, this blog takes a totally different persona as me. I do have a lot of pretty things, and some really lavish things but those are what you call Gifts of Love from my father/friends.
My dad spoils me too much, and my dad might have an extremely different mindset as your dad, I'd never know.
But my dad HATES it when I carry fake stuff, or fake gold, or.. you get the point.
So he'd naturally give me more so I can doll myself up, and at least I won't make him lose face.
I am afterall his successor.

Thirdly, I have stated very clearly about the difference between my blog-persona and me. In case you need to know, the writer of this blog is human. She has problems and emotions, but she doesn't blog here totally because this blog is meant just for entertainment's sake (my entertainment, and your entertainment as well). She blogs on her lj for more personal stuff, but doesn't really show much as well.
Okay, enough bout the third person talk.

Ever since my blog has been receiving an average of 140 people a day(It's 190 now on average), I have stopped blogging about my personal life with the people closest to me, reason being, even though 140 is nothing, but as long as there's a hundred people reading.. Hundred can just spread by twofolds.
And I think I wouldn't like to ruin my relationship with anybody, and I'd like to protect them in ways I can.

You don't know how some people can be bloody bitches (not referring to anyone, I swear) and just totally bitch bout people they don't know or not related to them, just looking at their pictures.

I wouldn't want that to happen to anybody of them if that day would ever come. It's the smallest thing ever, but I won't even want that to happen.

If anybody would like to know more about me; I don't ever talk to my close friends about my bag, or show off my latest blah blah blah. (And yes, these are the people who read and don't read my blog)
They're just very close friends of mine who know my dad spoils me too much, but that's about all they know.
They know why my dad spoils me too much cus from the way I spend on them/or not.

If really, I really do behave the way I do on this blog in reality, I truly doubt anybody can stand me because in reality, nobody talks about their bag the whole time and neither do they talk about bracelets and shit.

I don't see why anybody has to speak ill of me TO MY FRIENDS, when they don't even know me in reality.

And I don't see why any of my friends who know me quite well to believe what those people who don't know about me and just read this blog said to them.

Because this blog is superficial, but I am not.
All my friends can vouch for me.

Randy told me over the phone, "You know what is your problem? You are too true to **."

zhen said, " HUH?! how could she do that to you?! you're so nice to her!"

Cheebye. True or not true also kenna pwned.
Can you feel my rage?

One last thing, do people befriend my blog or befriend me?
That, I'd like to know.

Cus it wouldn't make sense if somebody starts disliking me cus of MY blog when in reality, I was still the same to him/her. (Not betraying, not bitching, not backstabbing, not.. aiya whatever that's bad to friendships.)

You could say I have many masks.
Many = 2, and that's it.
On blog, and when I'm not. That's just about it. So stop speculating or do guessing games.

I have to apologise to those who know me though.
I am sorry if I have caused any confusion about my personality.
Like, I'm like that in reality, and then this blog just messes up your mind again.
If you'd like to know me better/so much, you could always talk to me on MSN/phone/message.
I won't decline anybody IF I do know them in reality, so yes.. I do hope that everything mentioned earlier is clear enough.

Erm, due to my evasive character it might all been easier if i have just avoided.
And knowing myself, I would quit school and shit.
But, maybe I won't now.
I am 18, and it's really about time I grew up and face things like a woman. (hahahaha)
Makes me stronger.. I'd need it.

And, if I do quit, then I'm just letting my O level results go to waste.
Plus, I have managed to scrape through year one in poly.. I wouldn't want to waste that too.

And this semester, I have been doing tutorials (though I never attend ALL the lectures) and have been self-studying whenever I can because after the family problem, I realised how much my father loves me and how high his hopes are for me.
I love my dad a lot, and I don't wanna let him down that's why I'm studying hard.

If I do avoid, and continue being evasive amanda.. Then I'm also letting those who care down too.
Like, this certain somebody who talked to me and told me how I'm like a kid. (Which isn't very obvious on this blog, as you can see. That's just about how much you know me from this blog.)

Before I end this entry, I'd just like to do some announcement that Im gonna be on hiatus for a bit.
I'd like this entry to up for as long until I feel that the message has sunk in.

Initially, I wanted to shut this blog down cus it does create some unnecessary trouble, and just shift to lj where I can lock my entries and choose the people I want to add.

But after telling randy everything, he told me not to because there is really no need to.
This blog is totally detatched from my life although I AM THE WRITER.
It doesn't affect the way I treat people, nor make me snobby in reality.
So, yeah.

Hurrah?

Before I end, I just wanna share a story with everybody.
Something I learnt from the IS class yesterday which is extremely meaningful, and I think it's God's way of telling me a message.

In the past, hunters use bottles to catch monkeys.
They have these jar bottles with narrow openings which they place in a hole dug in the forest.
They put a banana inside the jar and wait for the monkey.
The monkey would then be lured to the bottle, and you know what happens...

The monkey would stretch it's hand into the bottle and pick the banana.
But when it tries to take the banana out, it'd realise that it's hand is stuck.
Because the opening of the jar is only big enough for the hand to go in and out, but not big enough for the hand AND banana to come out.
And that's how the hunters manage to catch the monkey.

Moral of the story is, when you need to and when you know there's no other way out to savage anything, save yourself.
How?

Let go.

Like the monkey, if the monkey let go of the banana.. It could have been saved.
It's the most obvious thing to do, but most of us, like the monkey, won't do it.
Just like the monkey.. We'd hold on to it.

I don't know bout all of you, but this story made a lot of sense and I am such a person that I'd only make such huge decisions only if you give me an extremely good reason.
And this is a reason good enough for me to follow and learn from for the rest of my life.

You may be thinking why I'm kicking a big fuss about such anal issues.

Would it not piss you off if your READERS don't know how to READ? (fucking ironic x10000)
Would it not piss you off if your friend behaves like he/she is befriending your blog instead of you?
And like after 18 years of living, suddenly somebody tells you you have many faces in life.

I personally don't bother bout what others' think about me really.
As long as I don't know you, or I'm not close to you, it doesn't bother me one bit bout what you think bout me. (Everybody knows that.)

But what bothers me is that THESE people judge me based on this blog, and just spread their nonsense to My friends when they don't even know HOW I am like in reality.

The most absurd thing I have heard today is that I am two totally different people when I dress up and I don't.

I hear that a lot actually, but what they meant was how I look.
I look like sai when I don't dress up, like this seller whom I had to meet in school.
She left a comment on lj and told me that I looked so different from the pictures cus I met her without makeup AND with spectacles.
And I know (so I don't feel offended in any way. hahaha), so whenever I don't, I just don't look at the people around me, the only people whom I look at in the eye when I talk to them are people that are close to me.
To me, I think I can just fade into the background when people are not looking. hahahaha
It's just plain (beggar) jane, you get what I mean?

When I do dress up, I walk with my back straight up, tummy tucked in, chest out.
I look at anybody I talk to.
I won't fade into the background, because there'd be people looking. NOT because I'm damn chio or damn hot or whatnot but because I'm no plain jane.

Who would you look at anyway?
Plain jane? Or non-plain jane?

Is that NOT normal?

And that's about all what.
I still treat people the same, and all.

Okay, that's about it.